Title: Crazy, Stupid, Lazy Cupid
Author: Andie M. Long
Genre: Paranormal romantic comedy
Cover Designer: Tammy Clarke at The Graphics Shed
Publication Date: February 14th, 2019
Cupidâs have targets other than heartsâ¦
After cheating on her monthly figures, Samara finds herself sent back to Cupid training school by the big boss himself. If sheâs to pass her probation, sheâll have to prove she is capable of creating genuine love matches.
But things donât get off to a great start when she finds out that pets arenât allowed in school. Difficult when your husband has been turned into a Whippet until youâve proven yourself.
Someone should have known that the crazy, stupid, lazy, cupid would try to find a short cut. Itâs a walk in the park to create new romances, and she can exercise Johnny at the same time.
But not everyone wants Samara to succeed. Someone is waiting to take the leadâ¦
She lives in Sheffield with her son and long-suffering partner.
When not being partner, mother, writer, or book editor, she can usually be found on Facebook or walking her whippet, Bella.
Andieâs Halo and Horns Reader Hangout: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1462270007406687/
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FACEBOOK PAGE: http://www.facebook.com/andiemlongwriter
âOkay so itâs time to introduce the person to your left. They should have told you enough about themselves right now.â Martine, the uber-happy, bouncy pony-tailed teacher instructed us.
I was not uber-happy, or bouncy. I was super pissed off.
âSamara, could you introduce the person to your left?â
Yeah, pick on me first why donât you?
Sighing and blowing air above my top lip, I pointed to the woman next to me. âThis is Janet.â
She shook her head. âNo, no. Jeanette.â
I rolled my eyes. âThis is Jeanette. Sheâs been sent back to Cupid classes because she did something dumb.â I didnât know what it was but if she hadnât she wouldnât be here.
âWell, letâs not use the word âdumbâ shall we. Jeanette just-â
âFucked up?â I stated trying to be helpful.
âLetâs move along. Max, could you please introduce Samara?â
Max beamed like the goody-goody twat he was. From now on I was calling him Vax, due to his sucking skills and being full of crap.
âSamara is here because she set up Taylor Swift with Tom Hiddleston and we all know what a car crash that turned out to be.â He elbowed me. âI knew that wasnât real. Did you give him the t-shirt? It looked like it could fit you?â
Martineâs face clouded over. Yeah she wasnât so happy now was she?
âSamara did not set up Tom and Taylor. That is an outright lie.â
I folded my arms over my chest. âWell someone must have done it. Seriously ruined Tom for a lot of women she did.â
Martine stomped out of the carefully constructed circle of chairs sheâd made us put together and grabbed a thick file from her table. Then she stomped back in.
âHere we go. Samara Leighton. Reasons for being back at Cupid Inc. Training Headquarters.
Samaraâs behaviour towards her local colleagues resulted in one colleague being ridiculed and having to seek counselling. I quote. âWhat kind of person draws attention to an unfortunate mishap of another? Samara is crazyâ.â
âCrazy is not waxing your vagina and then sitting with your legs apart in a spa.â I informed everyone.
âSamara engineered a speed dating event prior to the opening of the dating agency in Withernsea and we believe saw a man she liked there herself. She then âaccidentallyâ turned up on his date. This man is now her husband. Now, fortunately the date she ruined wasnât fated anyway, but what she did that day was stupid.â
âWeâre madly in love. The best match ever.â I looked at the other faces sat around. âWell we were. Now my husband is in kennels. KENNELS. They turned him into a dog.â
Martine carried on. âSamaraâs monthly inputted figures included those pairings from Withernsea Dating Agency, run by Shelley Landry, with no actual input from Samara at all.
âIt says pairings for the month. It doesnât specifically say my pairings. Thatâs on Cupid Inc. They should be more specific.â I complained.
âItâs lazy, Samara.â
âSo Iâm Samara. Iâm crazy, stupid, and lazy. Thatâs how you need to announce me to all the others, Vax.â
âWhat-ev-er. My introduction is complete.â
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